How to be elegant

Fashion designer Coco Chanel once said, "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." Of course, the female gender doesn't have a corner on class. Both men and women who want to be considered elegant and classy can spruce up their appearance, work on their manners, and refrain from unbecoming behaviors.

Dress the part

You might think that wearing a designer label automatically catapults you to elegant-dresser status. Looking classy, however, doesn't require an extensive budget -- it simply means wearing well-fitted, clean, pressed clothing, free from rips, threads or stains. For elegance, wardrobe consultant Tina Adams recommends wearing solid colors and minimizing the accessories to just two or three per outfit. Before you leave the house, run a lint brush over your outfit to ensure it’s fur- and hair-free. Women should double-check their nails for chipped polish, and both genders need to style their hair so it looks polished, not messy.

Mind Your Manners

A classy person minds his manners, follows proper etiquette and thinks about how his actions will affect others. To that extent, keep a few basics in the back of your mind when going about your day-to-day life. Some traditional manners that still apply today: Say "please," "thank you" and "excuse me." When eating, chew with your mouth closed, and don’t talk with your mouth full. When invited to an event, RSVP to the occasion and arrive on time. At the event, turn off your phone -- or at least the ringer -- and if you must take a call, step away and speak softly. In the 21st century, elegance extends to social media: Refrain from arguing or discussing sensitive issues on networking websites.

Carry Yourself Confidently

An elegant person is confident, not boastful. Adams recommends working on your posture to appear taller and more secure in yourself. You can also appear more confident by not fidgeting, and keeping your head up and looking forward. When speaking, don't rush or ramble, and pick your words wisely -- an elegant person refrains from crude language and four-letter words, even when angry.

Refrain From Complaining and Gossip

It’s impossible to feel happy all the time, but an elegant person does not frequently complain to others. Rather, she gives off the impression of maintaining a successful life, even when a little down on her luck. At the same time, a classy person doesn’t gossip or talk behind a friend’s back -- even in the name of “venting.” If someone tries to engage you in gossip, redirect the conversation. For example, if a co-worker wants to talk about a colleague’s poor fashion choice, transition to the trends you saw in the latest issue of “Vogue.” When all else fails, keep quiet -- doing so often quashes the conversation.

Proper Etiquette in Public

This is perhaps one of the most important considerations when deciding whether or not a person possesses elegance. In today’s world there are only a handful of people in some circles that you may consider elegant. So many people have forgotten the general rules of etiquette. This could be because younger generations have developed their own set of rules for etiquette or it could just be a lack of proper upbringing. However, whatever the reason is it is important to understand what it means to be elegant and how you will be perceived by your general attitudes toward life. One aspect of being elegant is being polite no matter what the situation is. This is inline with the old adage; it is not what you say it is how you say it. For example, you can gently critique something you have ordered in a restaurant without shouting at your waiter. An elegant person will smile and point out any problems in a soft voice, never allowing other guests to hear what is being said. 

Listen More Than You Talk

One very elegant trait is being able to remain intent yet silent when someone is telling you a tale of some sort. Continuous interjection by you may be perceived as rude. This is not to say that at some point you cannot respond but the most important thing is that you never interrupt someone who is speaking to you. This is a display of poor manners and will become annoying quickly to the person you are having the conversation with. When all is said and done, be cautious about offering your opinion, if it is asked for. Remember, you do not want to appear pushy. You can state your case without over doing it. 

Keep the Volume Down

Have you ever been sitting across the room from someone who is literally yelling when they talk? This gives you the impression that this person is completely unpolished and ill-mannered. Speak in a voice that can be heard by the people in close proximity to you but no one sitting at the next table or waiting in line behind you should ever be able to make out your conversation. Being soft spoken is a very elegant quality and people will find being around you much more desirable. 

Do Not Be Critical or Judgmental

Elegant people are not fast to point out the mistakes or flaws of others. This does not mean it is not ok to gently correct someone but there is no reason to be harsh. You can give someone constructive criticism without embarrassing them or belittling them. An elegant person will use grace when dealing with situations in which an error has been made or some wrong has been committed. A forgiving spirit is one of the most common qualities of an elegant person. There is never a reason to outwardly show anger. If a situation arises that causes you to become upset or angry it is best to walk away with your dignity intact. 

Elegance is a state of mind really. It is not something that can be acquired in a short period of time but with awareness of your actions and thinking before you speak you may very well be able to train yourself to act in a much more elegant manner. Keep in mind that you can be elegant no matter what social status you fall into. You do not have to be the wife of a CEO of a major corporation or the President of the United Sates in order to show grace and elegance.